


Lost and Sound

by gay_relations



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Angst, F/F, I honestly don't know what happened, but like because emma and alyssa had shitty parents, i rated it m to be safe, i was supposed to write something completely different but ended up with this, no relationship angst, tw to references to alyssa's parents fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 16:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19995244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_relations/pseuds/gay_relations
Summary: All her life, Alyssa Greene was used to being quiet. The phrase “children should be seen and not heard” was all too engrained in her childhood and it seemed to stick as she grew up. She heard it at home, at church, at school. Even with her friends, she didn’t say much. Not necessarily because they asked her to refrain, but because she found she didn’t have much to contribute that would interest them. She never felt like she had anything concrete to offer so she played it safe and remained quiet.Then in the last class of her first day of sophomore year, she mumbled a dumb joke under her breath and heard a snort in response. She was sure it was purely a coincidence, but when she looked up she found hazel eyes and a dopey grin aimed directly at her.orEmma helps Alyssa find her voice.





	Lost and Sound

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly was supposed to write something completely different and ended up with this. I'm clearly in A Mood

All her life, Alyssa Greene was used to being quiet. The phrase “children should be seen and not heard” was all too engrained in her childhood and it seemed to stick as she grew up. She heard it at home, at church, at school. Even with her friends, she didn’t say much. Not necessarily because they asked her to refrain, but because she found she didn’t have much to contribute that would interest them. She never felt like she had anything concrete to offer so she played it safe and remained quiet. 

Then in the last class of her first day of sophomore year, she mumbled a dumb joke under her breath and heard a snort in response. She was sure it was purely a coincidence, but when she looked up she found hazel eyes and a dopey grin aimed directly at her. 

She tried it again the next day, wanting to test if it was an accident or fate. Sure enough, the blonde laughed again, only loud enough to get scolded this time. They both ducked their heads low, but when Alyssa glanced over the other girl was looking back and they exchanged grins before getting back to their work. 

This went on for a couple weeks. Alyssa would even begin to wait till she was certain the girl wasn’t preoccupied, because what was the point if she wasn’t going to be rewarded that adorable chuckle? Most days the other girl was able to stifle the noise and others she would get in trouble, but either way she never complained.

It was all their interactions ever were until one day Alyssa didn’t make a joke. Instead, she tried something different, something bold, and in that same muffled voice she said “Meet me behind the bleachers after school.” 

And the girl did.

“You came.” Alyssa said in pure shock.

“I had to.” she responded with desperation and truth.

That was the day Alyssa finally learned her name and while she laid in bed that night, a time that was usually like all others and preoccupied with her own quietness, she broke the silence.

_Emma Nolan._

//

At some point in her life she had started to believe that she didn’t even want to talk. Maybe being silent was her idea all along. So what if it definitely started out as compulsory? Perhaps one day Alyssa found that was she okay not having to engage with people who didn’t understand her. There had been one too many moments of excited rambling ending with waves of shame and rejection. If she didn’t place her trust in people, she couldn’t get hurt. Yeah, she was pretty sure avoiding conversations was 100% her idea at this point.

But now there was Emma and their meetings behind the bleachers became more frequent and Alyssa spent hours doing nothing but talking. 

And listening too of course. She loved to listen to Emma. But if she started to listen too much, Emma would prompt her with a question and then stare at her with such affection as she hung on to every last word, as if Alyssa was reciting the meaning of life. They talked about everything and nothing, keeping a perfect balance of give and take. Part of Alyssa wondered how she made it this far in life without ever having had a real conversation before and the other part was happy she got to learn how with Emma. 

Emma was sweet and patient with her and never laughed when Alyssa spoke too much or too little. 

Except one day. 

Alyssa had been getting especially animated on the topic of horses and mid rambling she noticed Emma chuckle softly. Every defense system in her body powered up and shut everything else down. She would have ran out the door if her body had been responding properly. “Sorry, we can talk about something else.” 

Within seconds, Emma was next to her with an arm around her shoulder, apologizing profusely. “I promise I wasn’t laughing at you.”

“Why else would you be laughing?” Alyssa’s voice was as small as she felt in that moment.

“It’s just… you’re super cute when you get going on a topic you love. It’s one of my favorite things in the world actually. I really didn’t mean to laugh. I just couldn’t stand how adorable you looked while you went into detail about why horses are better than people.” Emma’s face was flush as she spluttered her feelings all over.

Alyssa could see the sincerity in those hazel eyes and she felt her breath begin to steady. Emma didn’t just like when she talked, but she genuinely enjoyed it. It was almost all too overwhelming for Alyssa and it definitely took some adjustment, but luckily they had many more secret meetings (now moved to the band closet) for Alyssa to get used to the attention. 

//

Somedays Alyssa truly enjoyed the silence. It wasn’t always a haunting reminder of everything she was taught to suppress. Sometimes it was peace and comfort. Sometimes it made it that much easier to breathe. She particularly appreciated it when her parents began to argue more frequently. 

At first, she wouldn’t even hear the fighting. Whether it was happening while she was at school or if they would just get into heated whisper matches, she wasn’t sure. The only reason she even knew it was beginning was when her father would storm out, get in his truck, and drive off to the local bar leaving her mother locked in their room and Alyssa in hers, trying to pretend she couldn’t hear the heavy sobs.

But things eventually escalated. The yelling matches were intensifying and not before long items were being thrown. It was a harsh mix of crying, crashing, and cursing. These were the moments, as she hid in her room, that she prayed for quiet as a means to an end.

After her father left and didn’t return, Alyssa tried to be more careful with what she wished for.

One specific day, though, Alyssa found herself in that same place, willing to sacrifice whatever she could to make everything be quiet again.

A week prior Emma had been kicked out of her house and there wasn’t a living soul in Edgewater that didn’t know why. It had also been a week since Emma had been at school, but she was supposed to be returning that day. 

All morning, Alyssa heard the whispers and slurs and off-handed remarks. It didn’t even matter if Emma was nowhere near. The sad pathetic assholes that were her peers had nothing better to do than obsess over stupid gossip and non-scandals. Alyssa still hadn’t seen Emma yet and she felt like her head was going to explode if one more student made a comment about her only true friend. 

It was her last class before lunch and she excused herself, claiming to have a stomach ache. She snuck into the band closet and waited for the only person in her life that she actually cared about these days.

When Emma walked in, she was too exhausted to express her shock at discovering Alyssa beat her there. 

Emma looked truly defeated. Her hair was disheveled and if the bags under her eyes were any indication, she hadn’t slept in days. But her eyes themselves were what truly broke Alyssa. In them, you could see the pain and sorrow of a girl who was betrayed by her own parents. “I really don’t want to talk today, Alyssa.”

She slowly made her way over to Emma and gently brought her hands to rest on her friends cheeks. Emma flinched at the contact and Alyssa wondered how long it had been since she had last been touched. The brunette paused, reading the other girls eyes. Alyssa rubbed one experimental circle on Emma’s cheek, who responded by leaning in ever so slightly. “I didn’t come here to talk.”

They continued to stare into each others eyes while Alyssa waited for a sign and as soon as Emma’s eyes flickered to her own lips, Alyssa closed the space between them. 

Somedays all Alyssa truly desired was the quiet.

//

When she was young, she used to have wild ideas and big dreams. She was gonna be the first dancing doctor to ride a horse in space. Or maybe a singing firefighter who owned a zoo. There wasn’t anything that seemed too far fetched or impossible. 

“Don’t be silly, Alyssa. Just stay focused on your books and your looks and most importantly, blend in.”

Apparently, as a little girl, she had nothing to contribute to conversations nor society. If she were to let an opinion slip out, it could cost her the homecoming crown and that was too high a price to pay for thinking. She was trained to smile and nod and reply with things like “Well what do _you_ think?” As long as she didn’t dare develop her own voice, all would be well.

And for the most part that was fine. Well, of course it wasn’t fine, but if it meant keeping the peace it was a sacrifice she could make. There wasn’t anything Alyssa was ever more passionate about than avoiding conflict. 

Until Emma. Alyssa was very passionate about Emma. 

So Alyssa mustered up all the courage she could and tried to tell her mom about this wonderful part of her life. But her mother brushed her off, making up some excuse about it not being a good time. So Alyssa waited for another moment and tried again. But this time Alyssa hadn’t slept enough and wasn’t thinking straight. And the next, Alyssa was just confused. Each failed attempt chipped away at whatever was left of who Alyssa was.

As she watched her mom publicly disown the most important person in her life, she realized she had approached it all wrong. It was never about if her mother would listen or not. All that mattered was that she stood strong and true. 

Whether her mother chose to listen or not was on her.

“I love you, Emma Nolan!”

//

It wasn’t just her words that she was trained to squash down. No, it was every little noise imaginable. She would get scolded for laughing too loud or squealing too high. She had to be careful with how hard she closed doors and cabinets. Her steps had to be light as a feather. Volume turned down, mouth closed while chewing, singing banned from the house. The list was endless.

But now she was in her and Emma’s own apartment and she didn’t have to worry about volume levels. 

_And thank goodness for that_ , because Emma had just slammed her against a kitchen cabinet and was placing hot open mouthed kisses down her throat, lower and lower until _oh_. Emma continued to work on that spot as her hands leisurely worked their way down Alyssa’s sides, bunching up her dress at her hips. A thigh slipped in-between Alyssa’s and she couldn’t help the moan that betrayed her. Both of her hands were now on Emma, pulling her impossibly closer. 

Emma pulled back slightly to look at Alyssa with an all too familiar grin on her face. Emma had started their favorite game of who can make the other louder. Once they finally had their own place, they played it quite often. Alyssa knew exactly what she doing. 

She just didn’t care.

Alyssa tangled her hands in Emma’s hair and brought her back in for a heated kiss. Their lips worked together, the dance all too familiar, and it wasn’t long before Alyssa captured Emma’s bottom lip in her own, sucking for a moment before giving it a gentle nibble. Emma let out a sigh and Alyssa used the moment to swipe her tongue in her girlfriends now parted lips. She forgot what she was going to do next when Emma’s thigh adjusted between her, there and gone, before could savor the feeling. It wasn’t nearly enough. She needed more. Taking matters into her own hands, she arched her back into her girlfriend, not entirely sure who moaned louder with the motion. She pushed Emma’s shoulders back so she could finish removing her dress. “Bed. Now.” 

Not wasting anytime, Emma lifted Alyssa by her thighs, which instinctually wrapped around her waist. It could have been the contact where she needed it most or the fact that Emma lifting her has an effect on the brunette or maybe a combo of the two, but Alyssa let out a strained whimper. In between kisses, she managed “Fuck it, the table’s fine.”

Alyssa lost the first round, but ended up winning best two out of three. 

And then three of five.

At some point they did make it to their bed and as Alyssa laid on Emma’s chest, using her finger to draw nonsense on her girlfriends belly, she couldn’t help but be grateful that in their home, she didn’t have to worry about being too loud.

//

Everything about Alyssa’s upbringing tried to silence her, but with Emma, she was able to learn to love her voice.

**Author's Note:**

> Who knows?


End file.
